Before you read on make sure you've read Ephesians 3:14-21.
What to Pray for
Paul presents us here with a model prayer, by which we can know better what we should pray for. Just like Jesus gives his disciples a model prayer, which we call the Lord's prayer, so that we can know a basic template of the kinds of things that we should be praying for, so whenever Paul or other writers of the New Testament record their prayers in their writings, we should pay attention. Though they are sincerely and meaningfully praying these things, they wrote them down for our benefit. Paul writes down his prayer for the Ephesians, not because it was a helpful exercise for himself to write out his prayer, but because he thought it would encourage the Ephesians and be a helpful model for them in what to pray for.
1.Inner strengthening by the Spirit w/ power so that Christ indwells our hearts by faith.
(Eph 3:16-17a) "that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith"
-It is inner strengthening that Paul prays primarily for. Not external perks. He’s not praying for them to get out of anything. The one clear time where Paul does pray for the removal of an external trial, the thorn in his flesh, he prays three times and God responds, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." It's the same with Jesus in the garden, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." Christian prayer is not first and foremost about being removed from trial, but about the inner strengthening to endure it. Of course, this doesn't mean you never ask for God to take away the problem or the trial. Jesus did. Paul did. But, they prayed for such things in complete submission to the will of God. They prayed with an awareness of the fact that God knows what he's doing and that there's probably a really good reason for the suffering. For Jesus it was because only he could bear the sins of the world and fulfill God's eternal purpose to save you and me. For Paul it was to keep him humble. For you it's probably going to be closer to Paul's reason than Jesus'. It's probably helpful to think about all the trials the Ephesians Christians were most likely going through at this time that Paul doesn't ask God to spare them from. He nowhere in this letter prays for the Ephesians to be more wealthy, though they were probably quite poor. Nowhere does he pray for them to have financial blessing. Nowhere does he pray for them not to be persecuted, though they were being persecuted. Nowhere does he pray for the Ephesian church to live comfortable lives of ease. Nowhere does he pray that God will grant them physical beauty and attractiveness. It's just not on the list. It's not that it's always sinful to pray for any of those things, but if those things are dominating the prayer list, if they're the things that are filling your heart, your priorities are probably out of line with what God most wants for you in this life.
-The inner strengthening is in accord with the riches of his glory. The fact that God is mainly for our inner strengthening is not some sort of useless platitude to make us feel better. It's not some type of emotional or psychological band-aid that we're to just plaster over the wounds of life. Paul is praying for a strengthening that is according to the riches of God's glory. He's not talking about a stoic resignation to your fate, but for riches of glory to well up inside you in the midst of suffering and persecution and calamity. The heavenly glories are actually much, much better than the earthly glories. We often don't really believe that, which is why we don't pray as Paul does. Paul really believes that the best type of riches, wealth and prosperity the Ephesian believers can have is this inner strengthening according to God's heavenly riches of sustenance and power. Paul really believes the best type of glory, fame, and boasting that they could experience is found in the inner strengthening that God provides. It's not that Paul's theology is against the body; no, exactly the opposite, it's incarnational! It's about the God who became man, adding humanity to his divinity, and thus perfecting humanity in the midst of a fallen world, in the midst of trial, by reliance upon the inner strengthening of Holy Spirit.
-The strength comes by the powerful working of the Holy Spirit indwelling us. Just as Jesus relied up on the power of the Holy Spirit we are to pray for him to strengthen us with his power. And the Holy Spirit's power is shown most clearly in weakness. It was the Holy Spirit's power that sustained Jesus when he was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. It was by praying for the Holy Spirit's power and assistance through the night that Jesus chose his twelve disciples. It was the Holy Spirit's power that enabled him to preach effectively. It was by the Holy Spirit's power that he performed many signs and wonders, even casting out demons and reviving the dead, to the point of his own physical exhaustion. It was by the Holy Spirit's power that he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, sweating drops of blood in anguish. It was by the Holy Spirit's power that he went to the cross and died the death we deserved to die. And it was by the Holy Spirit's awesome power that Jesus was raised from the dead to resurrection life. Don't you want this Holy Spirit dwelling in you with power? Then pray to the Father for the Holy Spirit's inner strengthening with power.
-The goal of the Holy Spirit's work is that Christ would dwell in our hearts through faith. This is what the Holy Spirit's inner strengthening does. The Spirit of Christ brings Christ's very presence into our hearts through faith. Just as the Holy Spirit worked to glorify the Son, while he lived on the earth, now the Holy Spirit works to glorify the Son in the lives of believers. He makes us see Christ for all that he truly is, and he makes Christ to dwell in our hearts, to live and reign at the center of our being, so that it is no longer we who live but Christ who lives in us, giving power to our mortal bodies. The goal of our prayers should not be to gear us up or get us ready to go or to enliven our emotions in any superficial way. The goal of prayer is the Christ-life in us; that Jesus himself through his Holy Spirit would live for us, by living in us. And that is what we so desperately need from God. I'm tired of the tips and tricks, of the patterns and programs to try and make myself do it right this next time, aren't you? I need Jesus to live life in me.
2. Rooting and grounding in love and knowledge of God's unknowable love
(Eph 3:17b-19a) "that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge"
-The love of God must become the roots that bring nourishment to our life. We pray because we need to be nourished by the love of God. And one of the main ways to get this nourishment is to pray to God. The love of someone you really care about, say a husband or a wife, actually has the power to feed you, to sustain you, to help you grow. Love has this power. And so in a relationship like that you regularly remind that person of your love for him or her, and they regularly remind you of the same. And if you were to stop reminding each other, that would be bad for the relationship. How many marriages, I wonder, have slipped down the wayside because the couple thought they'd said "I love you" enough times to each other, and it wasn't worth saying it anymore! And how many Christians have stagnated in their growth by thinking it was no longer worthwhile to go to God in prayer to hear of his undying love for them over and over and over. God wants to tell you he loves you. If we are to become like a tree planted by streams of water, which bears its fruit in season and its leaf does not wither, Christian, we must pray so that our roots go down deep into the love of God.
-The love of God must become the foundation upon which our life is built. Believers are being built up into a glorious temple in which God desires to dwell by his Holy Spirit. What foundation then, do you think will be proper for such a building? If you and I are to be built up into a temple of the living God, what sort of grounding is it on which we are to stand? We should be founded upon the solid rock of God's love, with each stone prayed into its place by applying the mortar of Christ's precious blood. No other foundation will do for such a temple. We must pray the love of God into our bedrock. The sands of passing fads, and self-help books, and mix-and-match philosophies won’t do; the sands of success and fame and money won’t do; the sands of even friends and family, or career and romance will not do; none of these things will stand the test of storms of life let alone the ultimate storm of God's jealous wrath. We must have Christ's love as our grounding.
-We need the strength to comprehend the breadth and length and height and depth. Our capacities for receiving and understanding his love need to be enlarged. That's why Paul prays that we will have strength to comprehend it. We don't naturally have the capacities to really get the love of God. It's just beyond us. So we need to pray, we need to keep drinking in the love of God, so that we can get it more and more. We need to pray through the breadth of God's love, applying it to every sphere of our lives. We need to pray through the length of God's love, contemplating how infinite its measure to us who believe. We need to pray through the height of God's love, grasping onto it whether we be in the depths of the sea or the heights of the heavens. We need to pray through the depth of God's love, letting it sink deeper and deeper into our hearts. And all this can only come if God gives us the strength to comprehend it. O how we need to pray for this!
-Lastly I said that we need knowledge of God's unknowable love. I say unknowable because to know the love of Christ is to know an infinite thing. It surpasses any ability to really quantify it. You don't come to the end of this process. There's no Christian, no matter how holy or adept, that can say, "I've completely comprehended the breadth, length, height and depth of God's love, so I really don't need to pray anymore." It's just not going to happen. God's love is infinite in all dimensions. So even in heaven we will grow more and more in knowing God's love. We will continue to search out its depths for all eternity.
3. Filling w/ all the fullness of God
(Eph 3:19b) "that you may be filled with all the fullness of God".
-The indwelling of the Holy Spirit, bringing Christ to our hearts by faith, and a growing reliance upon knowing God's love for us in Christ, actually lead to our filling with the fullness of God. We should pray for his fullness to fill us up in every way. Colossians 1:19 "For in him [Christ] all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell." Ephesians 1:23 "which [the Church] is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all". So Paul says the fullness of God was pleased to dwell in Christ, in its full express during his life and earthly ministry, and now that continues in heaven. And since the church is Christ's body, now are receiving the fullness of God, who fills all in all.
-How can we be filled with all the fullness of God? Well, we'll use the analogy of cups, because it makes it easy to understand. Now if you have a little cup, then the cup can only be filled up with so much liquid and then it is full. And if you have a little bit bigger of a cup, then you can be filled up with a little bit more liquid, and then it's full. And if you have a jug, then it takes a lot more liquid to fill it up. Now if the liquid that you're putting in the cup is living water, if it's the Holy Spirit, the living water that wells up from within, then no matter how big your cup is, even if it's a tiny little cup, when you fill up that cup, it is now filled with all the fullness of God. Because this isn't just any regular old water, this is living water. It’s not just water that runs out when you're done drinking it. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit in us would become a spring of living water, a source from which more water comes. So that as your cup grows into a bigger cup, and then from a bigger cup into a jug, and from a jug into a jar, and from a jar into a basin, and from a basin into a tub, you stay right filled on up to the brim with all the fullness of God.
-If you are filled with any of the fullness of the infinite God, then you have all the fullness of God. You may need to grow in your capacity; you may still become a bigger cup that can be filled with more; you may still grow as a tree, with your roots going down deeper; you may still be built into a bigger and bigger building, but however much you are filled with, you are still filled with all the fullness of God, because he's infinite, even just a little of him is all of him. And so the new believer no less than the tried saint has all the fullness of the infinite God. And you know it's a good thing that this living water continues to well up from within, because I don't know about you, but I leak. My cup has got holes in it. So I need more and more living water to keep filling me up. So we should pray for the fullness of God, and we should continue to pray to be filled more and more and more with all the fullness of God.
So, what to pray for: 1.Inner strengthening by the Spirit w/ power so that Christ indwells our hearts by faith. 2. Rooting and grounding in love and knowledge of God's unknowable love. 3. Filling w/ all the fullness of God

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